WILD

Out with the old and in with the new. Finally getting started on my sleeve!!! Took three years but better late than never. Something I can finally look at and love on my skin! 🥰😍

It’s one thing being “normal” in high school, it is other thing being gay and not being able to hide it in high school. Everyone has their suspicion about me but no one really knows unless we have hooked up but minority of the type those girls don’t want others to know that they have hooked up with a stud or dyke. See the girls in high school think that I am their little experiment or their try it once lesbian. However, to me, it is who I am. I would like to one day not just hook up with a girl but to date her. You know do all the hetero-date things. And there has been a girl I want to ask out but I don’t know if she is gay. She is always with guys. I have seen her kiss girls before but I have also seen her making out with guys too. There have been parties that we both have gone to and I have cought her a few times staring at me. She could just be judging me. She is cooler and older than I am. So who knows. But when I am looking at her, I am most definitely checking her out. She isn’t like those other girls around here. She is one of the popular girls but she is very smart too. Majority of the time she isn’t in school but yet she has some of the highest grades in her class. I am not as smart, I try hard enough to keep my grades up or else I can’t play in any games. See, soccer is my life, it is the only way for me to escape the rest of my high school life with people judging me for who I am. On the field, no one cares about my sexually, they only care about me blocking any goals from the other team.

Tomorrow, we have one of the biggest games of the season. This game will set off is we go to playoffs or not. Our coach is trying stressing it. I am really nervous. I would really like to have Veronica go to the game for support but she’s too cool for it, I would think. Veronica is the older girl, I have a crush on. Can’t have her thinking that though. I only get to see her during passing period is at that since she is hardly at school or at parties.

Late practice today. Right before w game our coach thinks it is okay to have us run for miles. Great. We have to run all around our high school. It’s not so bad since she lets us run with our headphones.

“Dyke!” Someone tells out as I go around to the open field. It’s Veronica’s guy friends that are always messing and making fun of me for dressing the way I do. I try to ignore them but even through my headphones I can hear them again.

“Dyke on the run guys!” One yells out as the others laugh.

I continue to run and then I see her there with them. She’s not laughing like they are. She actually looks bothered. As I continue to run, I see that my route will pass by where they are hanging out. This will not go so good as I am alone and away from my team.

The closer I get to them, the more I can hear them talking and saying things about me. Getting closer and it’s harder to ignore them.

Flop! Suddenly I am tripped and I hit the floor hard.

“Oops. Watch where you are going Dyke.” Tommy says to me as he laughs with his friends. “She was too busy looking at your girl.” Another guy says. “She thinks she has a chance.”

“Hahaha like Veronica would waste her time with a girl. She like this dick” Tommy says as he grabs himself and walks towards Veronica. She has a disturbed look on her face. As discussed by him.

“There was and is no need for you to do that to her. She hasn’t done anything to you.” Veronica goes toy defense.

“She’s alive and a lesbo, that’s enough wrong doing from her.” Tommy relies to Veronica. And she rolls her eyes.

I get up, clean myself and run as fast as I can from them. As I continue to finish my miles I take a different route from where they are until they leave.

I am not very experienced with relationships but I do believe that they are supposed to be respected, valued, loved and sexual. And right now, in this relationship, I do not feel as if any of those are being put into place other than the sexual parts but there is no love, no passion, just sex and it has been like that for a while now. I guess at this point I am just there for him and he is just there for me, no emotional or mental connection. Just sex. To be honest, I am bored.

“Victoria!” Henry calls for me.

“Yes, Henry.” I replied hoping he is just looking to see where I am.

“Come here. We need to talk.”

I sigh as I am getting up from the bed. I don’t know what he wants to talk about plus I don’t even want to be on the same room as him.

“What do we need to talk about?”

“I was thinking about getting someone to come and fix up some stuff out the house and do some paint jobs to some rooms. Also maybe a cleaning lady?”

“Why? You can’t do those things yourself?” Sarcastically asking, I laugh. He really hates it when I question his masculinity.

“Of course I can do it myself! I just don’t have the time. Did you want to do those things yourself?” He snaps back at me.

“Nah.” I can tell my comment got under he’s skin and I didn’t care. It is fun to me to push he’s buttons.

“Then start looking for people. If you find someone let me know.” He says as he turns away from me, knowing I would snap back for the behest.

I walk back to the room.

The level of attraction and chemistry is unreal. ♥️

purplebuddhaquotes:

“It’s not who you are that holds you back. It’s who you think you are.”

— Denis Waitley

purplebuddhaquotes:

“Life goes on …Whether you move on and decide to take a chance in the unknown or stay behind, locked in the past, thinking of what could have been.”

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